


Dickhead!

by kitenshi



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Bulimia, Drug Addiction, Everyone Has Issues, First of all., If you’re going to read this, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Master/Pet, Non-Sexual Slavery, Physical Abuse, The Master Has Issues, Trans Male Character, i just found that tag and it’s unfortunately fitting, i’m sorry ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28284021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitenshi/pseuds/kitenshi
Summary: Here’s a nice story about a man and his very stupid cat. What will happen? Hilarity ensues!!
Comments: 2





	Dickhead!

“WHY do I keep you around?!”

Commander Saturn was…. struggling. Erect before his boss, he was all wound up, but trying his best to play it cool. He pinched his steel pen, which he held behind his back with his elbows tucked in painfully tight. He was bleeding, and everyone saw it. Clad only in his slick black turtleneck, not much was left to the imagination. Nobody ever liked to address Saturn’s sex. It was never the right time, too crass a topic to bring up on company time. He had no choice but take his vest off, as it was too obviously soiled. Those useless, fleshy mounds on the young man’s chest were visible in painstaking detail. 

Jupiter and Mars… they  _ tried _ to make their minds wander, to act like they were just minding their business, lined up along the wall of their leader’s office as if they were having their mugshots taken. Of course they didn’t want to see Cyrus berate their fellow officer, but he  _ was _ out of line.

Saturn was… less than presentable. The spray in his hair was coming up on 72 hours old, the two distinctive spikes held up by a knitted headband, in a shade of teal that would look better in an emergency room. At least he went to the trouble of washing the black smears of makeup from under his eyes, but they still looked hallowed, terrified. 

“Erm, well, sir, as your lieuten-“

“SHUT UP!” Cyrus roared. He grew closer, casting the lieutenant in his shadow. He was huge, he swallowed the poor, shaking boy up. “I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOUR BABBLING.”

Saturn’s head shot down in a display of pathetic prostration. His eyes were wired open - he was buzzing off of energy drinks and all his medication - but he was too ashamed to meet his boss’ gaze. Engulfed in the sun’s boiling rays, he could not see past the error screen his brain was currently producing on loop.

“You have disrespected me for the  **_last time,_ ** ” A PVC replica model of Saturn’s ingenious bomb came hurling just above the commander’s head. Saturn flinched hard, covering his face in his hands. He dropped his pen, and it rolled toward Mars. 

She didn’t dare touch it. 

“YOU REALLY  **FUCKED UP** THIS TIME, DICK. YOU’RE  _ SELFISH,  _ THAT’S THE PROBLEM WITH YOU…” Cyrus was raving. His spit flew in Saturn’s face. The boy kept a brave face. “EVERYBODY here has WORK TO DO. We have a  _ standard _ to maintain. And you come to my office looking like a cheap whore? Did you really think you’d get away with wasting MY time while you drink and smoke and stuff your face with chocolates all day? You smell like  _ vomit _ and  _ vodka. _ Fucking DISGRACEFUL.”

Jupiter cringed. Saturn looked  _ really _ harrowed, his hands clutching each other in front of his chest. Still, that didn’t constitute being called out his name in such a manner. She stared at Saturn, hoping he’d glance at her and give her a chance to offer a reassuring look. He was too overcome with fear to look anywhere but down the throat of his boss while he screamed his head off at him.

“Speak.” Cyrus prodded his shoulder, sending Saturn hurtling off into the darkest expanse of space. “You must be really proud of yourself, dickhead. Still nothing to say?”

“Please, I beg your forgiveness. I… feel unwell, sir.”

“ **BULLSHIT** !”

“Cyrus, it’s true!” Mars butt in, a worried, panicked expression on her cherub face. “I’ve seen it. He’s… been throwing up, sir.”

“He’s doing this to himself. RIGHT, DICKHEAD? ANSWER ME!”

Saturn’s ears were ringing. He couldn’t remember the last time he heard anything so loud. 

“GET THE FUCK OUT! GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW.  **BRAT** !”

Saturn gasped. He scurried to the door, swinging himself around the doorframe to keep himself upright. 

He had even left his good pen behind. 


End file.
